Big Decisions
December 9, 2012
It's happening. I started medical school with this very moment in the back of my mind. The day I would start residency interviews and have to decide not only what speciality I would pursue but also where I would spend the most important years of my life receiving my residency education. I'm now more than half way through residency interviews and truly blessed...
December 19th will conclude my interview trail, completing 16 interviews across the country. I'll then rank the programs, submit the list, and wait... Wait until March to find out what program wanted me just as much as I wanted them.
But when it comes to completing the "list," many have said to go with your "gut feeling" because you receive a good education at all accredited programs. So to put more emphasis on your interaction with the residents and faculty when making the final rank list. Yet, on interview day everyone has their "game face" on for the most part so how authentic can your "gut feeling" really be? In any stressful work environment you're bound to have conflict, bound to bump heads, and just not get a long. So at the end of the day its not about not having conflict, but how you recover from it that truly matters. And that's not something I feel I can determine in one day...
So, for me I have to go with the vibe I get from the residents/faculty, the unique aspects of the program, and location. With some programs, the vibe was so unsettling that I didn't care to pay much to attention to the program and will definitely not include them on my rank list. Other programs, I had a great vibe but the location was questionable and the program was lacking in areas of importance. What to do?
I have some big decisions to make... A lot to think about it... (as I take a sip of my tea, sit back in my chair, and sigh)
We Are...Recovering
September 1, 2012 ~ 1:04pm
Today is Penn State's first football game for the season. As a Penn State University alum and current Penn State med student, I have mixed emotions today. Regarding the " Penn State Scandal" I was disappointed and honestly disgusted with the deplorable judgement of the administration. For the victims I was heart broken and angry at those who turned their backs. And for the faculty, students, and athletes I was saddened. The acts of Sandusky and the administration's inability to appropriately deal with the situation forever tarnished a prestigious institution. But as much as one would like to see those involved justifiably punished for the sake of the victims, there comes a time when as a whole Penn State must move on yet not forget.
In the face of humility and remembrance, keep your head up
And with accountability and respect, fight on
As I sit in front of the TV watching the football game, I can honestly say that I'm proud to be a Penn State alum. Grateful for my experiences and the wonderful education provided, blessed with the irreplaceable relationships formed.
It's undeniable that Penn State will never be the same. Yet, we're recovering bit by bit. And for the first time I can say that I think we'll be okay...
Happy Mother's Day!
May 13, 2012 ~ 9:25am
On this Mother's Day I reflect on the person I call Mom and how important she is in my life. I'm blessed to have a mother who is both loving and nurturing, but also tough. She gives hugs and says I love you, the simple things that matter the most. But she's not afraid to tell you the truth; not afraid to show her disappointment because she genuinely wants the best for her children. She's fun. She smiles. She listens. She loves.
I'm blessed to call Janine Pratt my Mom.
Love you.
Happy Mother's Day :)
Regroup
May 2, 2012~ 8:46am
I recently finished my Surgery rotation on Friday, April 27th. The shelf exam is on Friday (2 days away) and I can honestly say I'm freaking out a bit. For 7 weeks during my rotation I gave it my all... came in at 5am, saw my patients, maintained enthusiasm despite the lack of sleep, helped in the operating room as best I could, remained professional in all aspects...I gave it my all. I can proudly say that clinically my hard work paid off because I received great evaluations from both residents and attendings. However, Friday is the ultimate test as my performance on this exam will dedicate my grade for the clerkship. I've heard mixed reviews from those that have taken the test and the universal comment is, "It's hard." Well duh. Nothing in medical school is easy, so the difficulty of the exam is to be expected. It just kills me to know that the final reflection of my performance for 8 weeks lies in a 100 question national standardized exam. Womp, womp...
The surgery clerkship directors gave us 3 days off before the exam to study. This morning I decided to come to the library rather than study in my apartment to get a change of scenery. I need to regroup. I need to stay focused. Sometimes, my mind gets filled with the what ifs and the thought of failing which I feel is a natural thought process. I can honestly admit that I'm scared of failure, to a certain extent. I know failure is always a possibility, but I also know that it can be prevented. So it is the thought of failure that keeps me motivated to study hard no matter how tired I am. So I have two more days to give it my all. Let the final lap begin...
What's your comfort place?
Feb. 25, 2012~ 1:40pm
With chaos all around, everyone has a place of comfort that serves to calm the storm. Whether its in the arms of a loved one, or the corner of one's room...its a place that hopefully brings peace and restores balance. I have more than one place, some being external in the presence of certain people that are important to me. But some are internal; in the stillness of my thoughts or through a song.
I recently found a unique place of comfort in the soothing voice of a musical group called, Mumford and Sons. I came home stressed and a bit burnt out with a night of study ahead. My thoughts were racing with the events of the day, mixed with anger and annoyance for things I could not change. I sat at my desk, turned on my computer and began to play a song called "Liar" by Mumford and Sons. It was so right at the moment...it was exactly what I needed.
His voice, the instruments, the melody, the lyrics...together it works. When I need to regroup or reset I close my eyes, turn on Mumford and Sons and just mellow out. I don't know what it is and don't understand why... But I don't care, because it works for me. And. I . Love. It.
What is your comfort place?
Waking up angry...
Jan. 14, 2012~ 8:52am
There’s nothing like going to bed angry. And in my book there’s no such thing as “sleeping it off.” I’m what they call an instant resolver; I like to address my frustrations as they occur rather than allow them to fester inside. Yet, it’s not always feasible to do so. So I awoke this morning to racing thoughts about the source of my anger… “How could this happen? Did anyone care to prevent it? It was so disrespectful!”
It’s the worst to start a new day with negative emotion. I was able to release my frustrations this morning after talking to the person, but my head is still screaming inside. The anger has now been replaced with sadness.
But there comes a time when you have to let the feelings go…to move on from the situation and let it be what it is. Typically when I’m sad, I crave a good meal and preparing it makes me feel even better as cooking is therapeutic for me. It’s something about a good, hearty meal that warms me inside and makes me forget about my emotion. Other times I talk it through with close friends or family, write, or just sit in silence and pray.
What are your coping skills when you’re going through a lot of emotions? What makes you feel better?
What does the title mean?
Jan. 1, 2012 7:03pmI awake each morning to my mind racing; thoughts of the day before-from what went wrong to what went well-followed by an extensive to do list for the day ahead. I'm an analytical person and can easily get lost in deep thought. Yet it's in those moments of deep thought, that I realize my strengths and weaknesses as well as discover who I am.
My most personal revelations come to me the morning after. The smallest sparks of creativity to the clearest moments of understanding come the morning after. And it is those thoughts that prepare me for the day ahead. And each day I do it all over again. So the concept "morning after, day ahead" is a guide to my life as I continue to grow as a person. My experiences prompt thought, and my thoughts cultivate lessons...
